Book Review: Witch & Wizard

So, first - on a completely personal note -, I would like to testify of the power of positive thinking.  I won't go into details since it is really personal and really only my mother and Pooh would want to hear about it.  Mom because she brought me into this world, and Pooh because he (foolishly) decided to spend the rest of my time in it with me.  


Sucker.


But anyway, positive thinking people.  It works.


On to the review!


So, Witch & Wizard by author of the year James Patterson and Gabrielle Charbonnet, YA fantasy/fiction.  I'm always up for a bit of sorcery and, despite the vaguely creepy cover, decided to try it out.
James, James, James.  I really enjoyed When the Wind Blows and The Lake House, so what happened?  Is it the excursion into YA?  Is it the co-writing?  Because this honestly feels like a first-timer's attempt at a fanfic that wasn't beta'd before it was posted (yes, I know fanfic lingo. I know I'm nerdy and I embrace it).


Case in point: dystopia overnight.  The book begins with soldiers busting into this quiet suburban house and arresting the teenaged brother and sister after they were informed on by an overly-stereotypical sleaze of a kid from their high school.  They're accused of witchcraft, which throws the kids for a loop and they're terrified and convinced they're dreaming because, seriously, witchcraft?  This is modern-day suburbia, for crying out loud, not 1692 Salem.  Apparently, some elections were held and the New Order Party won out and suddenly the country is turned into a totalitarian state with a theocratic twist.  Basically, Puritanism is back!  
No one seems to have noticed this, at least, the kids sure haven't.  Arguably possible, because what teenagers pay attention to politics before they're old enough to vote?  But for a change this drastic, you'd think someone would've heard something.  And it's progressed enough that when the kids are brought to trial (sans lawyer, due process, etc.), a nearly arena sized courtroom is filled with people screaming for the blood of these two kids they've never set eyes on before.


Which brings another question:  where did these people come from?  What demographic is supposed to make up the New Order party members and the various soldiers who are constantly bullying the kids and calling them "witch" and "wizard" as a derogatory term, not at all masking more common swears used today; they actually mean it.  These kids are magical and therefore... what? Disgusting?  There's a lot of venom and loathing expressed by everyone and no explanation why.


Which brings us to our next issue: excessive use of childish insults and religious exclamations does not a clean book make.  You'd think that, what with a large percentage of the population practicing Christianity, the 3rd commandment would get a little more respect, if only from people who are obviously trying too hard to make this a clean read for all ages.  I honestly had to stop reading after an insult.  I couldn't make myself anymore.  In no world does a high school kid says "what do you think of that hot pooping scoop?"

And the childish taunts are not reserved to the kids and they're traitorous peer.  Although the most mature people in this book are the two kids.  I know that's every teen's conviction (that we're the unbalanced ones), but this is going to extremes.  When "The One Who is The One" (dude in charge) gets in the girl's face (who's name is Wisteria) and says "Witcheria, is there anything you would like to say? ... Well, you know the famous saying -- of course you do -- 'TRICKS' ARE FOR KIDS!  Get them both out of my sight!" well, I should have stopped reading right then and there.  My suspension of disbelief can only take so much.

Speaking of the head honcho; Hitler much?  Immediately after that gem he disappears in a hurricane of wind from inside a building.  So, is it a "hate what you are" scenario?  And in front of a courtroom full of his devotees, how does he get away with running around testing kids for magic and executing them while performing magic himself?  And we can see, he doesn't exactly have the charm and speaking abilities that Hitler had...

So, I made it to page 125, and that was only because the average chapter length is two pages and they have no qualms starting each chapter halfway down the page.  Poor trees.  PS, the next book was co-written with an entirely different author.  Talk about continuity and voice issues...

One star.  Maybe a half.  Eh, I'll give it one.  I'm feeling generous and still buzzing on my "thinking positively" experience.